I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
