Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
