...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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