Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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