Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
