i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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