last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
