I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
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his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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