the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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