my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
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I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
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Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
why is half of my head shaved?
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