So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
They should really pass out barf bags in church
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
