when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
