Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
