90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
