Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40