do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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