Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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