Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
