I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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