I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Randomize
