you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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