The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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