I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
how does that bad decision feel?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
