Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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