Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize