it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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