marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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