he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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