I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?