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• (619): View more from California

  Call me when you're up

  (619): View more from California

  Great dream, you were in it

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...

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• (858): View more from California

  she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"

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• (661): View more from California

  I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now

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• (407): View more from Florida

  How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.

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