Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail

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  (269): Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail http://tfl.nu/mrce
  Replies (8) Good night (3488) Bad night (812)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet

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  (480): My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet http://tfl.nu/85uj
  Replies (15) Good night (2044) Bad night (1120)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar

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  (912): i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar http://tfl.nu/twn7
  Replies (23) Good night (2563) Bad night (1776)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels

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  (225): i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels http://tfl.nu/zg26
  Replies (58) Good night (867) Bad night (8231)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.

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  (501): I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home. http://tfl.nu/r4qk
  Replies (46) Good night (1132) Bad night (4867)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...

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  (757): If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up... http://tfl.nu/b9ou
  Replies (55) Good night (6173) Bad night (943)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?

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  (801): he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have? http://tfl.nu/qwp7
  Replies (18) Good night (1148) Bad night (2961)
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  (323): View more from California

  Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.

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  (323): Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy. http://tfl.nu/58l0
  Replies (6) Good night (3535) Bad night (787)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy

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  (775): How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy http://tfl.nu/hobw
  Replies (7) Good night (1085) Bad night (2549)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing

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  (605): Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing http://tfl.nu/3itv
  Replies (9) Good night (2072) Bad night (700)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises

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  (843): I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises http://tfl.nu/gq7h
  Replies (3) Good night (895) Bad night (454)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza

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  (908): Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza http://tfl.nu/tg8r
  Replies (1) Good night (775) Bad night (282)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.

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  (250): Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear. http://tfl.nu/ufbe
  Replies (1) Good night (620) Bad night (314)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!

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  (715): It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful! http://tfl.nu/m6vl
  Replies (1) Good night (637) Bad night (281)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.

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  (727): It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood. http://tfl.nu/vd60
  Replies (1) Good night (472) Bad night (177)

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