so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.