I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
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Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
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Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude, where are you?
... whose car?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.