hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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