Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
only if we run a train.
done.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
