You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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