she looked like the before picture.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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