next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
