Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex