Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo