How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me