apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
