You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
