real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
