Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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