I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
