you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
