were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
No subtext here. People are naked.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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