She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize