I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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