Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize