as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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