Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
