hell yes lets make some ravioli
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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