if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
