Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
