Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I will pee on everything he values.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
