we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
