Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
