So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
