You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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