dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
