i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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